I'm sure some of you can relate to this...struggling at something but never quite reaching your goal. Maybe you decide to work harder, but you only manage to make yourself busier and even more unhappy. These past few months have been a transformational journey for me. I have been struggling in the art world, as many artists do, and I am now ready to accept change.
I no longer wish to compete with the many talented artists out there, its a huge disservice to myself and to other artists. I want to break the mold and to branch out and to let go of this "starving artist" mentality. I am currently enrolled in an intensive course to help me uncover what I truly want to contribute...because its not just about having a nice piece of artwork on your wall, is it? Its how the art makes you feel and the energy it brings into your space.
So I as I am on this journey of learning and rediscovering my path. I will be taking a short break after my next event.
When you have a passion, you let nothing stop you. It takes a lot of bravery to put your art out in the world. There are going to be a lot of people that will see your dedication. For whatever reason, they are going to try to take it away from you.
I want to share a story with you, about a time when someone tried to take my passion away from me. I was a very dedicated art student in high school. I spent most of my time hanging out in the art room, helping my teacher, and most of all making art. I knew I wasn't the most talented art student, but I figured out early on that all it took was dedication. I succeed with my art at an early age for two reasons, I was passionate and I had an amazing teacher that saw it.
One day, I recall a friend wanting me to see a painting someone gave to her as a gift. She was very excited about it and wanted me to see it, and I certainly wanted to see it! It just so happened that I was at her house one afternoon. We were in her room where this gorgeous painting was hanging. She pointed it out to me, "This is the painting I was telling you about." I started to admire it, it really was spectacular. But then her attitude changed, maybe I did not have the reaction she expected, she went on, "Isn't it amazing, SHE is a good artist, SEE Nicole." And she laughed. Yes, she laughed at me. I understood then what was going on. For whatever reason, she wanted to humiliate me. She wanted to take away my most precious possession, my passion and my greatest joy.
Sadly I don't recall too much about that painting. I wish I had, she ruined that moment for me. When I find art, or an artist that I admire I try to learn from them. Most artists do, they want learn from each other's successes and failures (because we all fail at some point). However,
I did learn a lot from this moment, but it wasn't to stop making art because someone was better than me. I already knew that. This was a challenge, and we all need these challenges. This was an opportunity to see how truly passionate I was. If I had stop making art at this point in my life, well, then maybe I didn't deserve to have that passion.
So please, be brave. Continue sharing what you love with the rest of us. Follow that passion.
Current work in progress, me being brave with a large canvas.
I have a confession to make. Just a few weeks ago I was ready to end my adventure as a working artist. Funds were running low, I was spending weekends away from kids, and as much as I love creating I could no longer justify the sacrifices I was making. But then something happened, I won best of show in 2-D at Monument Square Art Festival! Somehow I always find the support I need when I put my art into the world, and this really gave me the boost I needed to keep going.
I am especially motivated by the series I am currently working on. Each piece is created on a 12"x 12" wood panel. New materials can be exciting, and I especially love watching the inks soak into the wood and allowing them to flow. The process feels natural to me and I have been very pleased with the results. I hope you enjoy this preview of my new works.